Everyone is affected by trauma. It’s easy to fall into the comparing game and belittle our pain when we hear the reports of tragedies like shootings, plane crashes, and weather disasters. But that’s not wise. Those things are indeed traumatic and your trauma matters too. If you don’t do something about it, you’ll be sorry. So I’m going to tell you why YOUR trauma matters and what YOU can do about it.
Let’s start with defining trauma.
- Nightmares that get scarred onto your mind, body, and soul.
- Something that can hide in us and suddenly appear just long enough to mess us up.
- Something that changes the footprint of your life.
- Something painful/devastating/disappointing that changes you forever and requires a process to “get through”
- A deep imprint on our soul…the influences can overtake our lives and is healed by the hand of God.
- A catastrophic event that highjacks your brain and only God can heal it.
- Sudden exposure to tragedy leaving it etched in your minds-eye.
- Anything that shocks you deeply.
- Any event that leaves a permanent bruise on your body, brain or soul, healed only by divine intervention.
- Any event in your life that traumatized you. No matter what anyone else says about it!
All those point to the profound effect on the person. None of them measure the pain by another. That tells me, people instinctively know that trauma is personal. However, that’s not enough. Knowing it when someone asks you is different than addressing it in your own life.
Trauma has side effects. These will attempt to wreak havoc in your life. We all walk through life experiences differently. We have different perceptions, perspectives, and thresholds for pain and suffering. What one person can endure may leave another person emotionally wasted. There’s no shame in that. But shame will show up. Shame will compare their trauma with your trauma saying you have no right to feel that way. Shame will say GOD or the UNIVERSE is mad at you and you did something to deserve it. Shame lies. The trauma that lives inside you has nothing to do with how others see it and no matter what happened – God nor the Universe didn’t do it to you. Your trauma matters because you’re the only one who can do something about it. Have you experienced being triggered into reliving a trauma? Do you have internal screaming going on? You don’t have to keep living like that. Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.
What to do about it
I won’t lie to you—it takes work but it’s worth it. The pain, the anguish and triggers trauma plants in us require validation and compassion or they will never heal. You can’t heal what you don’t identify.
- Don’t measure it—validate it.
- Don’t minimize it.
- Call it what it is—a trauma.
- Process your feelings.
- Identify what trauma is saying—talk back. Trauma silently talks to us
Learning this was eye-opening to me. I hadn’t been aware that trauma had built a emotionally negative mindset that whispered to me with every trigger. All I knew was the basket case I turned into and the shame that followed over my seemingly unwarranted reaction (my measurement). I had to discover this invisible mindset and find the words that would silence the voice of trauma. It took a lot of process and patience within myself. Talking back to the trauma when I got triggered changed my life. Words are powerful. It took time to bring results but every time I talked back I gained ground.
- Dealing with trauma can cause triggers—don’t do it alone. A friend you trust can help or anyone you feel is right.
- Get help—there’s no shame in asking for help.
We need someone to enter our pain with us. To validate the trauma along with us. This can be a trusted friend, a support group or a professional counselor. I’ve received help from all three. Do you have the tendency to diminish your value? I did. Shame says we’re not worthy of the love and compassion needed to heal. Shame lies.
You are worthy because Love says so, UNNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Dare to decide to believe in you.
- Decide you’re worth the effort.
- Decide you’re worthy of being loved into wholeness.
- Have you addressed trauma in your life already? Share what helped you.
- Maybe start a journal, or shadow work. It is worth it.